I love newborns, and I absolutely loved Note as a newborn (Note as a toddler is a different story). I have the worst case of baby fever right now. I want to be pregnant. I want to feel a little baby moving inside my belly once more. I want to feel that wonder and excitement as I realize my child is inside me. Everything about pregnancy (except the horrible morning sickness for the entire time) was wonderful to me. Note’s birth and my labor was amazing and beautiful. That part I would do over a million times.
I stated earlier that I had started a Hope Box. Yesterday, thanks to an amazing Black Friday sale at Target, I added two new items to the Hope Box. I also found some amazing The Little Prince themed baby items that I will definitely be going back for slowly (they’re pricey, ouch). I had already decided that the theme for the next baby would be The Little Prince regardless of gender (although I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a boy!) so the arrival of this stuff at Target is some kind of sign for me. Anyway, it is because of The Little Prince theme that I’m also doing a lot of foxes for the next baby. I’m not sure if I want to get rid of Note’s old stuff since their theme was monkey and none of it really goes with The Little Prince, so it’s hanging around for now. I wanted to keep all the kids on the same nursery theme, but now I really want to change it for some reason.
[insert sarcasm] You know what feeling I absolutely love? The one where you’re getting close to someone, where everything seems to be going along fine, where even your picky as fuck toddler loves this person, and they suddenly stop talking to you. It’s even better when said person said you were going to hang out Saturday, then Saturday comes and goes without a single message from them. [end sarcasm]
I understand things happen. I understand life gets in the way. That’s fine. That’s totally cool. But it doesn’t take much time to drop a text message to say “hi” or “thinking of you”.
[insert more sarcasm] And you know what the best part is? When your partner texts said person asking if they want to go out and have a beer and that person responds to your partner within the hour. Meanwhile your own text have gone unanswered for days. [end sarcasm]
I’m venting, and I know I shouldn’t be, at least not here. But at this point, I need an outlet, and this blog hasn’t gotten an update in a while. And, like I said, I am not going to let it die once more.
I’m a bit disenchanted with polyamory now, where before I had fallen in love with it all again. Like any relationship type, there are pitfalls and heartbreaks. Would I say my heart is broken right now? No, but I am definitely disappointed. It’s fine though, totally cool. I’ve been pretty busy trying to keep up with my writing schedule for NaNoWriMo. I’m finally getting one of my novel ideas down on paper, and it’s about damn time. The idea deserves my attention, or at least as much attention as I can give it between breastfeeding session and toddler tantrum damage control.