25 Weeks

I’m 25 weeks along now and really feeling like this pregnancy is flying by! I feel in no way prepared to have a baby in 15 weeks or less.

I don’t really have much set out for the baby and there are a lot of life things that are still up in the air, like if the kids are going to be here and if they are, then we will have to move. And it will add the complication of needing to have childcare for when I go into labor.

Sage’s dad passed away Friday. That’s been really hard on her. She still hasn’t moved out of the apartment, and since she’s been in and out of the hospital due to just general stress and not taking care of her mental health, and now her father passing away.

The apartment is a mess, and I hate it. There is so much clutter and Sage orders so much stuff that I can’t do anything with what space we have. I want her to move out so that I can start properly preparing this place for a baby.

I really just want to… nest I guess. I just want everything nice and clean. I hate the way it is now. My anxiety level with everything is through the roof.

This is also the first time I’ll be giving birth in the hospital, but I asked them a lot of questions today about their procedures and policies and it did make me feel a lot better. If I have to give birth at a hospital (and I do because no birth centers here take Medicaid), then this is the hospital I want to give birth at.

We also considered, briefly, a free birth. I think my biggest issue with that would be the paperwork after to get a birth certificate and the fact that I just feel much more comfortable with a medical professional doing some monitoring and assistance. I’m hoping the hospital can provide me with that experience I’m seeking.

I guess only time will tell. There’s not much to do right now except wait.